warf

my heart is yours to fill or burst....

i notice i am very protective when it comes to the matters of the heart....so if u bark,i'll bite..hard

don't. hold. back

come,come,fly into my palm,
and collapse....

come baby,meh sini,
kite guling guling smpi pening..

perhaps,perhaps,perhaps,

the supposed raid in Digital Mall,
23rd of September,
what could've been waffles and a jug of root beer,
was instead a slice of humble pie.

Thank You for the opportunity to Change...now,where can i find some spare change for that?...

we got that magic

me vainly showing off my new haircut

we look happy that fashran is leaving-yes indeed there is peace again in this world


im like this most of the time in class-berangan mode on (haida and tasha in disturbia)




i may be 23 bt im a mak nenek at heart

L-R=shakir,jenal,fashran,me,amirul,amiaq,aween,haida n tasha
2004-2008=4 years that we will never get back
5 years of my youth being well spent with awesome people

ok, maybe the pictures are abt the same bt we are all certainly not!!! these bunch of people are just 1/7th of the people in my class of 63...this was taken abt a few days ago to celebrate fashran's move to the UK nk buat masters dier....he'll be leaving tomorow so good riddance!!!! hahaah kidding dear...at first i thot this post would be abt the man himself but i guess it wouldnt be fair to the rest and i think without all of us in that picture and probably the other 54, it would be hard to describe him or all of us for that matter....so i think im going to write abt each of them..kalau boleh ah...here goes.

you see out of 63 (or is it 64) students in my class, there are only 14 boys...yeah pretty sad huh,esp for me when i just love boys..hahah...and u can just imagine the chaos when we have to divide into groups for class projects and assignments, they will be lined up like live stock and we girls will be bargaining for them to be in our groups...hahaha..."aku nk shakirrr or aku nk fashran!wei aku chop fashran or amiaq dulu.or take a number"...we rotate the boys ever so often like male gigolos and sometimes we just stick to one guy as we prefer his 'services' rather than the others..hahahahh...shakir is the guy u talk to about boy-girl relationships...this sweet fella however is a sucker for love....he falls ever so often and he falls hard....do not let his hard and big exterior intimidate u,because he is a soft hearted person and adorable (and sometimes very gullible too)...amirul is an annoying bloke!!! hahah annoying in a good way....we love to pick on each others' flaws or mostly our flabs but he does it with good intentions of course...some may perceive him as a casanova, (hahahah) bt mere perception does not justify the man....girls do not fall prey to him,it is more of the other way around in his case,and worry not my dear friend, she is out there and love will come to you when u least expect it....among all the boys in the picture, i dont knw amiaq quite well as the others but he is,i foresee would be a political figure some day..hahahah...amiaq ade gaya,mutu dan keunggulan...he and his best buddy mamu (not here in d pic)i suppose would become the next datuk seri with their trophy wives with massive head of hair held together with industrial-strength hairspray and mousse....hey bt that is a gud thing right?hopefully when that happens senang2 kan la utk aku dptkan AP nanti kalau aku plan nk jual kete..oh n amiaq had an ex named suraya....??hahaha...jenal...wow..jenal...will always have a special place in my heart....i knew him on the first day of our studio class in matrix 5 yrs ago..he sat behind me,i said hi,he said hi back,and we havent stopped from saying hi to each other untill now...or smpi bebile pon...u see,matrix wasnt the best year for me...i wanted to be an architect so much that time,bt then i realize i wasnt cut out for it at all....i draw and build models like a kindergarten-er and he was there to witness my pitfalls and embarrassing moments during model presentations....he is so sweet to not hurt my feelings when i ask him to comment on my projects even though it looked like a llama barfed it in the morning...he would comfort me when i felt like giving up and was never short of absurd stories n jokes...yg besnye kan,because he went to a top islamic high school i would normally come to him when i had my doubts or questions abt faith and he never fails to amaze me...wht i love abt him is he never questions or judges a person...he is the catalyst that gels us all together...NO ONE is ever beefed with jenal...u knw jenal,(i dont think he reads this)u were one of the reasons i dtg studio without fail mase matrix dulu...kalau tk aku dh mati kebosanan dan kesepian dlm studio 9....ok lastly abt fashran....aku knal dier pon mase matrix...aku jenal n fashran kan slalu je kelas same seeing as to our names are the last few letters in the alphabet (jenal=zainal,me=suraya,fashran=wan mohd fashran) so nk tknk aku akan slalu la in the same class with this 2 ding-dongs.....fashran ni boleh tahan la jambu dier (ppl say la,i on the other hand think he is more of a nangka than a jambu)..so my girlfrens dulu mesti tanye i fashran cute tk hari ni,fashran buat ape hari ni,fashran is soo cute n dreamy....aaarrgghhh!! eventually we became friends and wld normally hang out la sket2 dulu kt pj....he turned out ok,tkde la jack ass pon,gedik je....i remember in one class dulu he came in late so the teacher gave him (n all of us) a punishment by doing an early morning exercise..so fashran was to lead us and he had to do jumping jacks in front of the whole class....hahahah...not so jambu now huh....pastu masuk main campus..and there was this one point in time where we wer reeallly close.....i think time tu sayang left for NS in sgpore for 2 yrs....we hung out almost every day...makan,tgk wayang,karaoke,talk cock,isap ghokok n stuff.....i guess we shared the same interest i:e that being food and makan la kan....time bf aku tkde memang aku made it clear to my guy frends yg im just using them...hahaha n that sounded so wrong....using them bukanye ape....it can get pretty boring in uia.,so we were eachother's form of entertainment...bukan dgn fasran sorang je k,so dont speculate yg bukan2....i had other men too in my life..muahahah..the both of us would exchange views on life,whine abt the opposite sex,school,friends and family or the simple pleasures of our gross bodily functions(berry2,kentut dan activity mengorek idung dlm kete konon org tk nmpk)....he is (was?) also a responsible friend....agak menjaga jugak budak ni pasal kwn2 dier....come to think of it all my guy friends are responsible and respect me even tho i was considered one of the boys....yes to some of them i am just another guy with long hair and probably bigger (man) boobs..hahahah....kalau lelaki2 lain blh je jadi animal dan mengambil kesempatan terhadap aku dgn rakusnya bt ive always felt safe going out with all of them....same goes with fashran.....although we dont hang out as much as we did back then,and i guess after tomorrow the good times we had will be left as memories,i am glad that he has finally found someone that would be his everything.....im happy for them...ucapan selamat kpd kamu berdua.....whats not to be happy abt,any new found love shld be celebrated...

ok enuff abt the boys,lets move on to the girls....tasha is the sweetest thing and altho we dont usually hang out with the same crowd we do share a lot of memorable moments together..that is one thing i like abt these friends mine...we may have our own cliques and groupies but we can all sit together and have a hell of a good time regardless...oh n my dear be careful when doing laundry especially baju2 kecik tu.....duduk sebelah umah sewa lelaki ade idiosyncrasies nye....haida pula adalah kawanku yg sgt baik dan 'pure'...even though aku beza dgn dier bgi langit dan bumi,she accepts me for who i am tanpa doubts and reservations....and i love her for that....she has strong principles and convictions which i think is rare nowadays...we may not see eye to eye on certain things but the differences innate in us is what binds us all together..all of us for that matter..aween pula ade la antara very intelligent person that i knw..all of my friends are intelligent for that matter,which leaves me,...errr where ah?hahahhah....i share a lot of things with her and so does she....i respect her for being able to maintain her cool and composure when things are notalways the way it seems and she is someone who is wise beyond her years...she dismisses my pre-conceived idea of what a typical CBN-er is....hahaha kene jugak selit pasal tu....dier la teman aku gossip,bounce off ideas,makan,dan bermacam2 lagi...dan aku sgt suke yg she is with someone that she had been wanting (lusting!) for 3 years....which proves kita akan dpt apa yg kita nak kalau hati kite luhur mencintai...waheh!!!

so to fashran,good luck in pursuing ur master's....my advice is love like u never loved before and live like u never lived before....and hopefully insyAllah u'll make it to my wedding coz i need a photographer who is willing to do it probono..although what u guys think of me is irrelevent,ntah suke ke tak suke ke aku tk kesah...hahhehh...because to me all of u rawk my world!!,to the Penta's, especially u,u,u,u,u,u,u,u aaaand u....terima kasih kerana persahabatan yang tiada sempadan.....the support,help,encouragement and comfort that all of u have given me...and of course the endless talk cock sessions and pee-inducing laughing moments yg sumpah akan membuat kite sentiasa muda dan sehat selalu...thank you for making life a lot less sucky and a whole lot of fun!!!!!!!

to Juliana

im contemplating whether i shld cut my hair or not...nothing wrong with it as it is,it's probly because i need something new pastu the current length and fly-aways and kebosanan yg teramat sgt cld be fixed with a new do..

aaaaanyway, ive been catching the facemakers on tv a few times and i am at awe with the dedication and sincerity that the surgeons and specialists have at a particular miami hospital..u see this show is basically about a group of surgeons and specialists specializing in re-constructive surgery that does not include boob jobs,face lifts and penis enlargement miracles...they mainly work on children who were born with severe or mild deformities and those impaired because of accidents or illnesses..i cry a little inside everytime i watch this show...mainly because of the massive surgeries these young children have to go thru and how the doctors bersama2 merangka strategi dan procedures to make life seem slightly better for them...but most of all,aku sbenarnye takot setiap kali menonton this show...from what i see, most of these kids are deformed because of some genetic anomaly or mutation..basically the genes la....the parents can be 2 very good looking individuals but are blessed with a child that not only does not resemble them at all,but may not even look humanly sometimes..like this girl who i dnt think is any older than 3,has a condition called treacher collins disease..(i dono if u call it a disease)..bt basically it is a facial cranial deformity or disfigurement and in Juliana's case it is very severe...pendek kate la when she was born, her face was not developed,her eyes were near her ears,n the lids were almost shut,her ears are almost invisible,her nose is undeveloped, her mouth is gaping wide,almost from ear to ear,and she lacks a few facial bones...kalau org melayu dh ckp dh,budak ni separuh ikan flower horn separuh manusia....and klua mastika...dlm umur nye yg mude tu she has undergone 19 surgeries to correct her face....now she has one good eye,she hears with a hearing aid tp actually can only detect the vibrations rather than sound,she breathes and eats thru a tube tp alhamdulillah her brain is not affected at all...she currently communicates thru sign language which has made things more bearable for her as she can communicate with her parents....but what i am mostly amazed is that how strong these kids parents are and how much they love their children even when the future is bleak and people may just shun them because of how their children look like....derang punye sayang n manjakan anak derang kalah ibu bapa yg ade anak normal...which got me thinking....can i ever be that strong if i ever faced such predicament..?will my marriage stand strong against time and all this if it were to happen....MasyaAllah...I can only hope and pray that when the time comes, my child will be healthy and strong and that i will love him or her unconditionally,without even a tiny speck of regret or remorse....
kadang2 bukanye ape, kite tk boleh nk dispel the non-believers as golongan yang dilaknat oleh the Almighty..their heart maybe purer than ours who so proudly parade our holiness on our sleeves...fate, jodoh and His love and compassion is His secret....kita memang tak tahu...

kita memang tak tahu...do you know?

derivitives

hari hari ku diberi erti dengan satu permainan di dlm komputer ribaku yang bernama Zuma..mungkin satu ketika dahulu,matlamat aku hanyalah untuk menamatkan Zuma dengan pencapaian yang tertinggi sekali...but when u play it twice a day,just because u dont have anything else to do, and because ur internet is too slow to download other games, Zuma is now a parasite..it is feeding on my boredom thus i click on it tanpa disedari n i play it over and over again many many times...seriously, ape yang bole dibuat (besides the obvious)..hahah...aaaaaarrghhh!!!!

i watched 300 again..probably for the 5th time..with my dad...and of course i had to do a little censorship for him which dengan tidak berjaya nye the dvd player remote control decided to go kaput hari ni la kan...so the scene where the young and nubile oracle was slithering away dlm keadaan bogel was made worse because bile aku tekan suruh fast forward or skip that scene it decided to go slow motion....memang malu and gelabah la kan..n my dad was saying 'ni knape ade pompuan tk pki baju ni,bulan pose plak tu'..ayaaaa...anyway movies yang seangkatan dgn 300 mcm braveheart ke kan,sedikit sebyk showcases man's ability to be courages and fearless not to God,but to uphold what they believe is sacred...and if the sanctity of life itself is what they believe is dear to them as faith itself then,that shall be guarded and protected bermati-matian...kebanyakkan cerita2 sebegini menunjukkan betapa pentingnya seorang ketua..either ketua satu battalion askar, negara, or a group of hooligans yg nk merompak mick jagger, dasar kepimpinan seseorang ketua itulah that decides the fate that befalls them all..i am writing this as how i am thinking it...being malaysian means we are bilingual most of the time...so sometimes we find it hard to talk in one language without the using words in another language..i am someone who knows the least about keadaan semasa...dlm negeri pon tk tau ape ntah lagi luar negara...probably because the deniability that ensues my ignorance..kadang kadang kite pura2 tak tau dan tk ambil tahu sebab kite takut the outcome of knowing too much....but there is no harm in knowing kan...back then kings fought in the forefront for their country...nowadays they wine and dine and shake hands and visit other countries promoting diplomacy...tapi the first sign of political distress, war, or natural disasters n they are sitting comfortably in a lavishly decorated bunker half the world away....bukan aku nk mengutuk....mungkin keadaan sekarang dan pentadbiran sekarang mungkin lebih efisyen dgn wujudnya kementrian pertahanan dan armed forces and all the armament that you n your friend can buy and who are your friends in high places that can gv u ultimate protection which leaves the king or president or prime minister left with nothing to do but to pray and gv instructions on when to push the red button (where we all knw adalah dinasihati oleh the seedy security of defense dude,it happens in every movie) while the rest of us put on our undies kalau sempat and bertempiaran looking for shelter....

some may say my writings and comments are done in haste and probably werent given much thought...all i can say is i base my judgments and thoughts on life or whatever is in it from watching movies, drama minggu ini and cartoons...i am not the most intellectual person around..

oh and i think McCain bijak dgn memilih sarah palin sebagai VP nye..spot on for choosing someone who basically represents a large portion of the american population....a normal family which includes (which i may say) a hot husband and hot kids, with the occasional felony charges yg tk severe sgt..i think most families would have at least someone who is charged for drunk driving..its the right of passage...and of course the unwed and pregnant teenage daughter,n weird activities for hobbies like shooting the occasional moose that wanders in ur backyard...

wow,this is quite a long one considering i started out clueless and bosan nak @#$%$%..

homo

what is it with me lately, old pictures and emo song lyrics...haih..i guess its just one of those days, or weeks, or months or simply put, times where u are just overwhelmed with unexplainable emotions yg kejap naik dan kejap turun...here is a picture of me as a baby on my mother's lap wiht my sister and brother and a few cousins and aunt...i was and still is and would probably be a fatty as u can c from the picture...


La Vie En Rose

Hold me close and hold me fast
The magic spell you cast
This is la vie en rose

When you kiss me heaven sighs
And tho I close my eyes
I see la vie en rose

When you press me to your heart
I’m in a world apart
A world where roses bloom

And when you speak...angels sing from above
Everyday words seem...to turn into love songs

Give your heart and soul to me
And life will always be
La vie en rose

there are no recent developments currently...oh but i do have a problem sticking to my convictions and making commitments off late.herm pelik...i keep saying macam, like and quite which is getting me into more trouble than it should....it's weird tho because in my head i do want to say a strong yes...

ive been having rice 2 days in a row...oh God down let me falter and succumb to the evil power that rice has upon weaklings such as i....

gravity

besides being the mother of all procrastinators i am also at crossroads and at loggerheads with myself...the usual case is that i would proudly and confidently proclaim or make a statement that inadvertently would come back to me in the most 'in-your-face' kind of way...mcm kene smacked by an elephants derrière..but we must always look at the bigger picture...and to be the bigger person (not only just in size)...by admitting that sometimes, we are wrong..or we have to make certain adjustments to our plan in order to achieve wat we want...so instead of using AKLEH all the time, gune la SPRINT ke, PENCHALA LINK ke ape ke kan..."with every mistake, we must surely be learning" while my guitar gently weeeeeeeppss...okkkaaaay...so i hope if i am able to accept the mistakes that i made or yours,...happy days ahead!!

speaking of pictures

my maternal grandparents-tok jantan and tok betina (i kid u not)
almarhum raja mohamed raja osman and ungku salmah ungku majid


tok jantan's suprise birthday party

my late mother and her family are true blue Johorians..her parents,my grandparents, like most of our grandparents were somewhat related..it was normal back then for people to marry their first,second or third cousins,and of course at a very young age..my grandpa was 16 and grandma was 13 when they got married...but youngsters then looked a lot differently than us..they were wat we are now at 25 kot...so between them they have 11 children..3 of which have died..after my grandma died when i was 8 mths old, my grandpa never remarried until i was around 8 or 9 years old..but that marriage didnt turn out well and it didnt even last till the 2nd aidilfiti (kot)....what i can only remember abt that granny was, she cld only make air sirap...no big loss there i suppose..hahah...my grandpa is the epitome of old school metro-sexual..i think he was among the pioneers of that fad...he has a strict and meticulous regime before and after his showers and there were 2 very important things tht he must hv for grooming purposes..nivea cream in a tub and vitalis oil (i think la) for all day slick hair....he keeps a pocket diary where he will, without fail, document the ongoings of the day..where he went, wat he did, who he met,what he bought, and who said what...oh n he had great penmanship..every time he comes over, it would be my duty to find a suitable plastic container for his false teeth, and of course the picit sessions where he will ask me who were the single teachers in my primary school and would they want to be his wife...of which i rejected of course ..coz its bad enuf to see them at school..u wouldnt want to c them at home plak la kan...in 2009, 09/09 to be exact, my grandpa got married to this wonderful lady whom he met at another wedding....as i recall it was in the local papers because of the auspicious date as well as the unconventional couple...i call his wife tok dah..and she is the closest thing i can ever make up a grandma should be and she does it very well...memang best la tok dah..she was an anak dara at that time (no she wasnt 24 y.o instead in her early 40s) and got herself an instant large and larger than life family that consists of anak2,menantu2,cucu2 and cicits....my grandpa passed away a year after my mother died..i still remember how he was on his knees when he broked down at the site of my mother lying motionless in my living room...people say it is hard losing a parent,or a spouse,bt on that day i could see it was even harder to lose a child..although i didnt spend much time with him like my other cousins,but his stories and anecdotes live on in them and my cousins would tirelessly re-tell his stories again,which to me,is timeless.....just as how the stories my mother used to tell me,will always remain in special neat memory pockets,n i would replay those moments just like wall.e did with his built in cassette player..i hv my own make believe cassette player that keeps me company and sane and happy and giggly and giddy....

i hope you can find ur own built-in cassette player..sure does save u a lot from all the rubbish u call movies churned out this year...

tapas

i am writing this post at a cyber cafe in bandar sungai long....this is my first time here and im very suprised with the place....with the tudor-style homes and quaint red-brick buildings (and d classic music playing in the background of this c.c) is quite astonishing i must say...how did i end up here u may ask,well i promised my sister i would help drive her around to work since she just got out of the hospital....while waiting for her to finish,aku pon dtg la c.c ni kejap..n i actually dont really knw wat to write abt....we'll see..

ok i wanted to cut and paste d picture above *here* bt i dont knw why it wont work...hhmmmm..anyway yesterday i went out for berbuke with my 2 favourite girls....i guess most of u are acquainted with khalisa bt the other girl was my rooomate in UIA for abt 2 years...kak fieza was more than a roomate to me...she was my close friend,confidante,makan buddy, gossip buddy,play dress up n make up buddy,boyfriend-ranting buddy and more importantly, she was my reasoning and conscience when i was in need of one....i think she is one of the most diplomatic person i know....i guess her life experience have rendered her with wisdom and striking intelligence especially on the subject of life and relationships..she was my sounding board for most things,...ranging from wat to eat, wat to wear, to wat to do with family, frend or *marital* problems....hse is a few yrs older than me n of course she has gone thru things that i was going thru earlier so she does have an inkling on how it is like....she wasnt the kind of friend who would tell u wat u wanted to hear,but what u are supposed to hear...it may be the ugly truth,but it is the truth that can actually save u from ur own disillusionment.....after she left uni,campus life was slightly different for me...it got pretty boring when i was in my room...i had other roomates of course,but none were anything like her...it made staying in the room boring as hell....kalau tk dulu tk sabar nk balik bilik...i'd burst open the door and yell 'kak fieeeeeeezzzaaaaaaa u know wattt!!!!!!!!!!!

one thing good abt bandar sungai long is that i could eat KFC during bulan posa n would not get stares....bang bang,u wana shoot me?

.........!!!.......

Kau begitu sempurna
Dimataku kau begitu indah
Kau membuat diriku akan slalu memujimu

Disetiap langkahku
Kukan slalu memikirkan dirimu
Tak bisa kubayangkan hidupku tanpa cintamu

Janganlah kau tinggalkan diriku
Takkan mampu menghadapi semua
Hanya bersamamu ku akan bisa

Kau adalah darahku
Kau adalah jantungku
Kau adalah hidupku
Lengkapi diriku
Oh sayangku, kau begitu
Sempurna... Sempurna...

Kau genggam tanganku
Saat diriku lemah dan terjatuh
Kau bisikkan kata dan hapus semua sesalku

Janganlah kau tinggalkan diriku
Takkan mampu menghadapi semua
Hanya bersamamu ku akan bisa


Kau adalah darahku
Kau adalah jantungku
Kau adalah hidupku
Lengkapi diriku
Oh sayangku, kau begitu
Sempurna... Sempurna...

Kau genggam tanganku
Saat diriku lemah dan terjatuh
Kau bisikkan kata dan hapus semua sesalku

Sempurna - Andra n the backbone

ini lagu bukan lah utk boyfriend saya...dont worry sayang,im not loving another man...i am actually in love with a women....and this song is for her..

house of wax

mcm baru kuar dari oven here are the pictures that were taken a week ago at a photo studio in tmn melawati....as usual pictures like this are taken to preserve and capture that particular 'proud' moment in your life...probably the only proudest moment in your entire life for some...ahah...altho they werent able to erase my double chin and probably 3/4 of my fatty cheeks, all of us look flawless in the photos...no pimples, no wrinkles n no embarrassing hairy bits...but my father, being 'ol school y'all, thought that because of the airbrushing or photo editing, we all looked waxy, artificial, plastic and almost doll like..as if we were staring at a replica of our family at mdme tussauds...tp tk logic ah,we r not the brangelina brood,n neither are we closely related to the brangelinas'....hahah...ayah is more of a mamiya, hasselblad and leica person...manual rather than automatic...analog rather than digital..defection over perfection.(bt not on most things la kan)..he misses the wrinkles n lines that adorns his face and hands...abhorred by many but to him it signifies age (duh), wisdom and like a picture taken to capture memorable moments, the lines somewhat acts like the lines u find on an old record...kalau record itu mengeluarkan lagu tentang kehidupan, the lines on ur face emanates haru biru,liku-liku dan kebahagiaan kehidupan seseorang...

saya sayang keluarga saya...kamu mcmane?

my sister nadya or naea who is 10 yrs older than me but is always confused as my younger sister...yes i look like a makcik compared to her..and that is her daughter helwa...and in her perut is insyaAllah, another daughter...

oh on another note, i bet my brother, (in the dark suit) would want me to tell any single women out there that he is single and is very much available...

big girls, you are beautiful

its the 3rd? 4th? day of puasa, and i think its been a good one for me...my brother and i have (bold fully) decided to go thru this whole month without having rice....and i am proud to say for nw that for d past 4 days i havent had any rice...either for buke or sahur...and im surviving ok...(for now perhaps) but i really hope to keep this up...konon2 nk kurus..if nik sayyidah can go for a year without rice,so can i....

apparently bulan puasa is also a month where people start to be reminded with fond memories of those who have passed on....knape dlm bulan puasa saje ah?its orait...as long as yg dh mati are remembered...

i cldnt sleep after sahur today, which eventually resulted to this...random and unrelated thoughts..ye la mcm aku tgh ckp dgn sesape..just dat most people are asleep,or getting ready for work now...so who can i talk cock to rite now...

it is true and i vouch to it that fasting sometimes give u constipation if ur body lack liquid or insufficient fibre intake....yes, this is a shit-ty post..it was 4 days of unsuccessful attempts for me...but after so many petua's done and taken, i feel a lot lighter now....wheeeeeee

despite being one of the most talked abt things, i actually feel quite happy with what i see..i hope it's going to be a good one for you...Insy..

dlm tak boleh tidur lepas sahur, i terjumpe an old magazine with a right up on johnny depp and abso-fraking-licious photos of this DILF....i am trying really hard to stop myself from lusting over him...itu simpan utk lepas berbuke..hehe..

3 kittens,that is now down to 2,where one of them according to my father looks like a young jennifer anniston during the first season of friends

a syok sendiri picture of my busuk self..it is obvious that i and also a lot of other people who make funny faces just so they can hide their facial flaws..and appear cute,quirky and probably interesting

a plastic tub that is filled with baju tk pki, a standing fan yg pendek,a dolphin torchlight,my brother's old MD player,a nata de coco container which is holding bunga2 terlebih from my convo,a vanity table which is as old as me or older,and on it is the stuff that actually makes me ok to look at and perhaps make me feel pretty...and erm rubbish and a screw driver...oh and a mirror with remnants of taik gigis and taik idungs yg diselet oleh saya atau org lain yg secretly selet..tak malu.....

a little something

ok..aku dh malas gile nk update benda alah ni..i think ive lost my mojo man..ive lost the zest in life..melampau gile la kan...tp there were a few things that needs to be updated abt my life n what goes on in it...because of my ever-so-malas-self is so malas of conjuring palatable sentences, i'll just put eveyrthing down in point form....easy to write and easy to read...

• 2 saturdays ago was my convocation....you see, i was already finished with school last may so the excitement of donning the robe and walking across the stage has died down since July..our new robes were nice,although putting them on was quite a hassle.the mortar board which i thot would be cool (it was,ideally) was a bit of a nuisance since it kept sliding off the back of my round-shaped head..and what i hated most was how it sabotaged the 'awning' of my tudung..mortar board=tudung saboteur..my dad,brother,sister and boyfriend were so excited for me when the big day came...i was still in my state of bleurgh-ness...nk smpi UIA jam,dlm UIA jam,n the person in charge of traffic flow must have been really short-sighted seeing as to how chaotic it was with all the congestion and penutupan jalan secara tiba-tiba...so we had to park at the far end of the campus..which was not a big deal since UIA was planned n built according to the central and radial system where it is just a 10 min walk to anywhere...but when ur wearing heels which were biting ur feet with every stride and a baju kurung that gave u limited mobility,a 10 min walk would seem like ur running a marathon (yes i like to exaggerate)..i met up with a few friends who kindly showed me how to put the robe on properly and after that we were told to line up before entering the hall...fast forward to a couple of hours, we came at 1.30, we went in the halls at 3, i went up on stage at 5 plus, we went out of the hall at 6 plus...penat gile...and it was pouring...and pouring and pouring...so not only the atmosphere was dampen by the rain,but also my spirits..cewah...aku ni tersangat la poyo...yg buat aku menyampah pasal convo aku is dat how aku rase aku ni nyusahkan org....kesian family aku kene jalan jauh,kene ujan,tunggu lame,tercari2 sesame sendiri..altho they didnt mind at all n was more excited than me i cldnt help bt feel that way..so in the end, we didnt take pictures coz all i wanted to do was to get out from that place and eat...lapar nak mampos ok...basically the highlight of my day was having the most important people present at my convocation...ayah,naea,bapoi and suaidy..funny thing is sayang, u were there on my first day of matricualtion in PJ, and u were there on my last day as an undergraduate..and as i passed by where u are right now on that day, i cldnt help but cry quietly in the car...

"Thank you"



i knw this pic is rather unflattering,bt its the only one with dydy

an arrangement i did with the roses from my dad n bro n lilies from him..

• last friday i had a shock of my life when i was in my car..while i was reaching to grab my things from the back seat i saw a horrific site of hundreds or maybe thousands of semut api kerengga on the entire backseat....it was so menggelikan and it was a bad day for me to wear a long flowy skirt..i swear i cld almost feel it as i imagined the ants crawl up my legs and bersuka-ria at God knows where la kan...i dashed into the house and told my dad, took the ubat nyamuk aerosol, drove my car into the drive way and started spraying away...so i thot la...on my back seat was a cap, a small notebook n 2 water bottles..as i lifted my cap, i saw a mound of those ants just seeking refuge and dok beranak pinak bwh tu ok....the ants dh bertelur pon....eeeee geli nye ok! aku tulis episode ni pon badan aku dh geli geleman...so anyway kerana kegelian yg teramat sgt i asked my dad to do it for me..n he was also geli-ed by the ghastly sight.they were everywhere..so alang2 dh mati smue ants tu i vacuumed the whole car...so some good did come out of it..i feel sorry for the ants meeting an untimely death..but hey i wouldnt want to learn it the hard way when im driving alone and suddenly they decide to roam around the car and naik atas kaki aku...aaaaaarrrghhh..

i am still unemployed..but ive been vigorously sending out my resumes.....haih this is starting to test my patience ok...it is the 2nd day of ramadhan, n it has been good...so till then,bye bye..