2012

2012....

Perhaps this is the last year for mankind's existence? I hope not, i do wish to move into our new house next year after all that we've been through getting it...and i do hope to fit into a size 4, plus a couple of babies and the headache of figuring out that we're broke after having those couple of babies and moving into a new house..oh and i also would like to be able to finally bake something that is worth mentioning..after a few failed attempts yesterday, consecutively mind you, i wish to conclude that not all recipes are full proof....hahahah.....yes i blame the recipe and not my ineptness....

i believe this is a start..me resuming back to the world of endless rantings....hoping to find something that has been missing for a while....orang kate, if we love something dearly, it will return to u eventually albeit slightly tattered...

Blink

Its almost a year since i've last written anything here..Dah bersawang laman sesawang saya...

This used to be an outlet for me to vent out any outburst or share the delightful accounts of my mundane day to day life...but i guess complacency has taken over the best of me....when in actual fact i feel like im bursting at the seams (quite literally nowadays) with all that pent up anger and at times excitement to share...yes no doubt i do have someone i can share everything with ( I LAPS YOU BABY!!), this blog was like the echo to my thoughts...when u write the things u mean to say or do, even though half of them do not materialize it does in a bit come to life in the flow of words that are typed here...

and if u can't already notice once you've reached the third sentence, things have become rusty....writing i mean....i've been used to writing letters, emails, faxes and reports for work that it is difficult to control myself from saying " Referring to the above and our previous meeting, kindly find attached the above tabulation for your perusal and onward action"...." your prompt response is highly appreciated....."""" aaaaaarrrrghhhh....i need a creative outlet....not that im saying i was blardy creative and artistically sound before.....hey in my world i was frikkin piccasso ok!!! suke hati aku lah....

i got yelled at a meeting today.maybe yell is an exaggeration ...heheh....i was told if i can't do an estimate in half an hour i am not a good QS.....surprisingly i was not defensive heck i didnt even blink, nor fidget or felt like my blood was boiling and i was about to hurl out profanity at that person..instead i felt calm and rather amused.....coz i find what he said was TRUE.....i am NOT a good QS....at times i dont know what i am doing...but in my defense, trying to be a good QS does not necessarily mean u can do an estimate in 30 minutes, but its about being able to give an almost precise figure that is comprehensive and a good reflection of the intention or Work in question....although i am taking 1 week to do that...hahahahaha.....hey the last drawing received yesterday kot! ok stop it right there...why do i have to pollute this space with work....so i am not a good QS.....is there a legitimate profession for an awesome blow job expert?

i am fat...i've packed on almost 10kgs in this past year...countless times i've been asked about my "pregnancy" and "due date"...countless times i've repeated that i am not pregnant hence no due date....and the best remark that comes after is...oh u are so fat now...thank you...u have just given me more reason to be fatter in order to live up to your expectation and definition of fat....

"jesus is my virtue, and judas is the demon i cling to"

Thank You and Regards,

The Graceful Swine

(that has yet to be defeated by an angry bird)







I'M BAAAACCKKK!!!!!!!!

one year later

My last post is almost a year ago....it's dusty and filthy and oh so insignificant....the graceful swine that is....if u guys had guess correctly, the last post was about the new arrival of my MyVi....the first of many more financial commitments to come....and a year later my beloved "bullet of a pedophile" got stolen....may he rest in piece and may the robber rot in his own piss...Astagha...

NOthing much has changed for the past one year..i am still working at the same place....not much progress there either....i still do have weird and borderline psychotic imagery how that place can be destroyed to ruins yet all of the staff are miraculously safe....just so i can run away from the responsibility of having to be right 110% of the time...(when i can only manage to score a 45)....

I realise now that what i use to believe is right only appears so on the surface....what is underneath....gosh darn it...i smack my head in disbelief.....that is just shear folly on my side....


oh by the way....i got married to him 3 months ago....and life has been pretty much the same and exactly how i imagined it would be for all this while only its better....real life experience have actually superseded my insatiable imagination for the impossible....

...30 May 2010....beat that you nay sayers....hahahah...

i still slap myself for assurance and where modestly to bed in case JAIS walks in on us because i still cannot believe that we are married....

I wouldn't say it was easy....we had about less than 2 months to prepare and get our shit together.....and not forgetting the endless weddings of ours.....kitorang kawen bukan wedding of the year...instead its weddings for the whole year....as i look back on that less-than-2-months period of non-stop choosing the right lace, the right made-up face to go with the lace, the food to stuff our face, the simple decorations to save my "water-face", the un-explainable hormonal ridden tear-jerking moments at mamaks and supermarkets.....the "bride-zilla" who ate me.................................................................it was all worth it....coz at the end of the day now...it is me who you are with, and it is you who i will respect, care and honour...sampai ke syurga kot!!!

favourite activity...hands down.....nyeheheh

And hopefully InsyaAllah, regardless of whatever good or bad that comes our way, I hope, pray and damn well work my ass off for us to be good.........


ok till next year........

pustaka langit

it's here,it's weird,it's a feeling that needs to be adjusted....

like every other thing in life,go with the flow and take it like a man..n don't forget to bring your balls with you..even if they are just pretend balls....

Circus

point no. 1) Is it particularly wrong to feel something so intensely amazing, when others might not jive the same way...or probably i am too animated for my own good....

point no. 2) Freakishly, it happened...can't really remember the details how it did when it did but it did happen...that alone and throw in how frequently although quite sparsely these accounts come about is enough to make me wonder,maybe i am partly fantastic...in ways no one would ever want to be..

point no. 3) buka-ed in the dark today because of a black out that lasted about 6 hours...such a wuss and pussy i am coz can't stop whining abt the lack of entertainment...pastu amazed at how this is the condition for some back then and even more so now....

point no. 4) is it possible to want something so badly that u lose track on the why's rather than the how's along the way....

does fasting become null and void if u swallow fossilized food scraps between ur teeth?or mint flavoured spit..

Anakku

I am having a baby.....care to help me pick out names anyone? oh it's a boy by the way..

Is life

i find it funny,as how certain turn of events cause me to wake up in the middle of the night in sweat, "did I or didnt I?" "am I, or am I not"....it's a saturday, am i late for training or work or is this one of the lucky saturdays where i can just stay home and fatten myself up...


speaking of recent turn of events, things are looking quite interesting in some areas and rather bleak and harrowing for others...either it's abt the public caning , death inquest, 1Malaysia, preposterous divorce settlements, hurricanes, typhoons, open burning, human genocide in Uighur and the Flu.....i only read the headlines in the daily papers....plus the night sweats, no wonder i'm starting to grow grey hair.....even though it could be related to some vitamin deficiency, i'd like to think of them hairs as a symbol of adulthood and wisdom....hahahha.....

Sometimes if all you have are dreams......takpe....at least it's free....the only thing that is free now...even peeing or a glass of water costs you 50 cents.....so u drink up 50 cents, n u piss out another 50 cents ....thats a whole ringgit going down the drain...

familiarity is cool right.....comfort is key kan? then why do people search for more...is it ok not too? is it selfish to yearn more?...