fascinations with myself
since sometimes i am just drained of things to write abt here,i am going to post some old stuff i wrote a few yrs back when i use to blog bersepah2..ade kat diaryland,ade kt myspace n of course any inch inch of a piece of paper that i cn conteng my thots on..probably what i wld do is make a chronology of the phases i went thru before n after i entered my 20s..pendek kate i wld like to quote my own words..hahaah hw much more self-absorbed cn a person be..meet, me!
how i feel about = pasar malam (June 2005)
Purchasing power is never underrated or restricted when it comes to night markets. Why life predicaments and imperative choices can’t be displayed and sold like the bargains u find at night markets. Not only are they pretty and at best imitate the real things. It is sold at dirt cheap prices, yet u can still haggle for a price close to nothing. Ur free to choose, to look, to inquire, to touch it, to feel it, to smell it, to taste it, to examine it, to ponder about it, and to compare with the other offerings or options, before deciding, before buying, before owning, before being responsible for the bargain and of course, before exposing oneself from future risks and possible outcomes
this was when i was on the verge of treading dangerously on unchartered waters, a poem called=
UnCanny Ong (March 2005)
let all this just be a fixation of self refute,
nothing more,a lot more less,
lest this will be an unbridled affair,
of such repugnant pleasure,
and what shall be left?
the bitch held captive,
kept silent,
the damned bitch,
and her foolish sacrifices.
the bones have been dug out,
none gained,many lost
could the dog trap spell out freedom,
would begging be actual solace,
nothing,
nothing,
but uncanny events,this has been.
about me (September 2004)
i love my home...i love my house and how homely it feels....it is where i grew up and it is where many events transpired that has made life become a challenge to be dealt with.but it is at home where i feel most happiest and still most sad.....i have been furnished with all the worldly and unworldly knowledge that is needed...my heart and soul nourished with wholesome goodness of parental and spiritual guidance since young.....
however from my own doings i have fallen prey to imprudent decisions and erroneous paths. this i pay tribute to my foolish self and not from the faults of others.as compensation, my contented external manifestation eclipses the guilty conscience of my heart.
whenever i am home, i feel young and exhuberant...i will forever be young when im at home..... never will i age a day older than 8.at times i do need this sort of escapism....but mostly i yearn equal value,understanding and matured respect.....as if i know what that is.....but who and what i am within and beyond the house are completely different.among those non-related individuals i am taken seriously of.my views and my voice are heard....i feel big,almost able to conquer anything....at home i feel of little significance.....
UIA=IIUM=The Garden on Knowledge n Virtue (April 2004)
no matter what ppl may say bout this place,i am going to miss walking down the corridors,climbing the uneven steps to class,passing the cafeteria n have me drool over the ayam goreng kunyit,terrorizing the over productive cats,n looking up at the moon on breezy nites....the moon has never looked bigger when i am here........mostly im gonna miss what's outside this place......this place may be confining for some.....but it has been my chance of freedom, to have experienced many new things,go to places ive never been,strucked by intensified emotions brought upon events so unimaginable, prior to this place...but that is only a small part in the second chapter of my life.......panjang lagi ceriternye......and that i am certain.....
about exposing myself=the graceful swine (April 2004)
i have no idea why im writing this.....all this thinking n typing is making me more hungry......out of complete boredom i should do something to occupy my mind......writing my thoughts down on paper will just make my hands tire n hurt,talking it out to myself may eventually raise suspicion among ppl around me....so i figured.....what the hell
L.O.V.E (June 2005)
The day came and went. When anticipation and longings overpowers logic, the gut churns and u’ll feel nauseated.
well,what cn i say...
how i feel about = pasar malam (June 2005)
Purchasing power is never underrated or restricted when it comes to night markets. Why life predicaments and imperative choices can’t be displayed and sold like the bargains u find at night markets. Not only are they pretty and at best imitate the real things. It is sold at dirt cheap prices, yet u can still haggle for a price close to nothing. Ur free to choose, to look, to inquire, to touch it, to feel it, to smell it, to taste it, to examine it, to ponder about it, and to compare with the other offerings or options, before deciding, before buying, before owning, before being responsible for the bargain and of course, before exposing oneself from future risks and possible outcomes
this was when i was on the verge of treading dangerously on unchartered waters, a poem called=
UnCanny Ong (March 2005)
let all this just be a fixation of self refute,
nothing more,a lot more less,
lest this will be an unbridled affair,
of such repugnant pleasure,
and what shall be left?
the bitch held captive,
kept silent,
the damned bitch,
and her foolish sacrifices.
the bones have been dug out,
none gained,many lost
could the dog trap spell out freedom,
would begging be actual solace,
nothing,
nothing,
but uncanny events,this has been.
about me (September 2004)
i love my home...i love my house and how homely it feels....it is where i grew up and it is where many events transpired that has made life become a challenge to be dealt with.but it is at home where i feel most happiest and still most sad.....i have been furnished with all the worldly and unworldly knowledge that is needed...my heart and soul nourished with wholesome goodness of parental and spiritual guidance since young.....
however from my own doings i have fallen prey to imprudent decisions and erroneous paths. this i pay tribute to my foolish self and not from the faults of others.as compensation, my contented external manifestation eclipses the guilty conscience of my heart.
whenever i am home, i feel young and exhuberant...i will forever be young when im at home..... never will i age a day older than 8.at times i do need this sort of escapism....but mostly i yearn equal value,understanding and matured respect.....as if i know what that is.....but who and what i am within and beyond the house are completely different.among those non-related individuals i am taken seriously of.my views and my voice are heard....i feel big,almost able to conquer anything....at home i feel of little significance.....
UIA=IIUM=The Garden on Knowledge n Virtue (April 2004)
no matter what ppl may say bout this place,i am going to miss walking down the corridors,climbing the uneven steps to class,passing the cafeteria n have me drool over the ayam goreng kunyit,terrorizing the over productive cats,n looking up at the moon on breezy nites....the moon has never looked bigger when i am here........mostly im gonna miss what's outside this place......this place may be confining for some.....but it has been my chance of freedom, to have experienced many new things,go to places ive never been,strucked by intensified emotions brought upon events so unimaginable, prior to this place...but that is only a small part in the second chapter of my life.......panjang lagi ceriternye......and that i am certain.....
about exposing myself=the graceful swine (April 2004)
i have no idea why im writing this.....all this thinking n typing is making me more hungry......out of complete boredom i should do something to occupy my mind......writing my thoughts down on paper will just make my hands tire n hurt,talking it out to myself may eventually raise suspicion among ppl around me....so i figured.....what the hell
L.O.V.E (June 2005)
The day came and went. When anticipation and longings overpowers logic, the gut churns and u’ll feel nauseated.
well,what cn i say...
posted by soedaydah at 8:55 AM
2 Comments:
have u ever considered being a professional writer? somehow, i just feel that u have the passion for it...
hahahha..i wish i could..bt i lack consistency n substance..
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