quantum of solace

such a long hiatus n i think poor ol' swine has been neglected a bit too long huh...not to say ive been really busy at work...more of been busy sucking n farking up at work ade lah...there is not much to say tho....basically everyday i wake up at 5.45 n leave at 6.55...for the time being i dnt have to stay till late nor do ive to come to work on weekends as my workload for the time being is jackshit as compared to the others...so from the advice of many of my colleagues, take any opportunity u get to go home early..coz after this being home at 8 would be a luxury...hahahha....ive made a few friends.....most of which are those in the same boat as me....project executives committed to serve the company for 2 1/2 years....the nature of the projects and work are i guess, interesting in nature...its just that im still overwhelmed with the fact that now i am not only accountable for myself as any other human being but i am accountable for the things that i do that would affect hundreds n thousands of others n not to mention the millions n millions of dollars at stake....one screw up n im screwed bigger than any screw uve seen....as u can c or read,life is pretty mundane for the time being and it is very apparent in my writing...what i look forward to everyday are phonecalls (or quick dates) from (/with) suaidy and a nice shower n my soft comfy sleep duds n the calls of blissful slumber....selalunye aku drive dalam on the way home kete mata aku dah 3 1/4 tertutup....n is only 9pm...

ive never been so unsure n in doubt of myself,my capacity,my intelligence, my reason n rationale...i knw it is still too soon to say but that is the feeling that is swimming in my gut everyday....im glad i am not a doctor....coz if i am i cannot afford to doubt my judgment n wit when lives are in question...kan...

thanks to u,everything seems to be better,brighter,sunnier n a whole lot less bitter......