an old one

Who do u think ur fooling suraya..in the end ur only kidding urself..when will u realize that ur the sort of person that needs others to survive,to win,to live?let down ur oversized n overcompensated ego n just bite the bullet laced with guilt u call conscience.

Being a dreamer such as I has its perks but mostly its pitfalls… as much as u want to think that ur an independent person,u are undeniably dependent…face it suraya,like it or not, if u want how ur life to be as u imagined it would be,listen to them, listen to the bitter after taste of ur own reasoning…

GO!

Why am I so easily influenced by heart and emotions…

Am I asking too much?or am I setting the bar too low..

Why can’t I think for my ownself and not dwell on this.

Coz the more I think of it the more I’ll succumb to my destructive mind..

I hv a terrible posture which is affecting my back and shoulders..

Mcm nk pakai back brace ke or any sort of back support…

Some things are not for suited for an audience..

Maybe just one..itu pon I can already predict the response…

I always assume things..thats why im scared to freak just yet..

Kadang2 all this is in my kepala jek…I could actually make my own life a sad

And miserable one which is bad…bukan org lain yg hancurkan diri dan harapanku,

But my own flesh boiling thoughts..whatever that means la suraya..

I am so dependent on another human being…once it was my mother,

Now its him…wow gile beza…with different needs plak tuh…

I guess im just an emotional parasitic fern..if I was a plant la…I don’t just suck all the natural juices but its entirety just to feed my infinite thirst and hunger for love.

will u keep on bringing out the worst in me…

im hungry..im always hungry…am I filled with emptiness that needs to be constantly fed with notions of hope and happiness…tp makan indo me skang sedap gak..hhhmmm..